Epic Living - Well-Being Expert, Life Guide and Coach, Inspiration to People, Author, Man on A Mission

How to Choose Happiness

How to choose happiness may seem strange to you. Many times we look at happiness as a feeling that comes and goes. And that certainly is a part of how happiness shows up, but there is more.

I'm living proof that happiness is often a choice. It is a choice in the moments.

My statement above is not one designed to give you the impression that I am superior or more with it than you. I'm not, I just discovered a secret that's not a secret at all. Here's how it works:

Value the moments of each and every day. Really value the moments. Once you've done this you'll realize two significant things:

1. Life is brief.
2. You don't have time to waste.

When we REALIZE that life is brief and we don't have time to waste. Things begin to turn.

A word of caution here, there will be days of sadness and unhappiness. Don't try to be the annoying positive thinker who pretends that everything is great. Sometimes we all have to do time in the dark seas. It's ok, just don't linger beyond the time necessary. Only you and God knows how long that is.

The great thing about choosing happiness is you'll become those choices. That's a beautiful place, a beautiful place indeed.

Scarcity

Convinced more and more that our search needs to be toward scarcity. In such a way that our abilities, talents, strengths, etc. are called upon to remedy the need for what is scarce. Economics reveals this too, but we can apply across platforms. Your ability to change the world for the better is linked here.

This assumes, like me, that you want to shake things up where you're at.

Meeting Marion in Central Park West

This is a photo taken of me and Marion Margolis. We met on my visit to NYC last weekend. Marion was very kind to my wife and I on our visit. A seemingly accidental meeting as we were taking in the beauty of Central Park. The photo above was shot in Central Park West.

Marion is an author (among many things). She is a writer of 3 children's books. The one that intrigued me most was titled New Digs for Beau, about her beloved Dalmatian. She spoke fondly, with emphasis, about the her relationship with this special dog named Beau. I don't know if she knew how I was reveling in our conversation. It was so strange and familiar all together. This was important as I am making my way through a new chapter in life, and as I craft a second book.

I asked her about her inspirations and what her process for writing was like. Marion likes silence, I like music when writing. Two authors connecting on the process of writing. It's always intriguing to learn what sparks creativity in artists. She truly inspired me. 

Ever been to a place out of a dream that lived out like that dream? That's what my meeting Marion was like. It was like I was invited to participate in something beyond what I could have imagined. All of this and more, in a place called Central Park West.

Who Would Follow You, the Leader?

I've been thinking a lot these last few weeks about what's the best measurement of quality leadership-in the business world and out. There's so much flowing out there about defining quality leadership, it can be a bit overwhelming. Did I mention burdensome?

I will attempt to set a context you can use to measure leadership in a way that you can pull out in virtually any situation. Maybe it's a question you ask a prospective manager or the HR recruiter who wants to know if you have any further questions.

The question comes down to this; "who follows you even though they don't have to?"

The answer to the above question is so important because anyone can follow when there is a stick and carrot involved. But what about when you're not in charge or some other circumstance changes the order of things? Every time I've met someone who has followed a leader without the force of position, I've encountered someone whose life has been impacted. Impacted in way that you can feel deep in your gut as the observer. Sort of like being in the audience when a great singer sings "that" song.

This all should make us remember that how we influence people (every day) is what builds true followers. And if we do it right, they will stay.

Thoughts on Quiet the Mind by Matthew Johnstone

Quiet the Mind by Matthew Johnstone is one of the best books I've read in a long time. The way the book is constructed is truly captivating. The only way I can describe it is simplicity. The book only took me 30 minutes to read and I was fully engaged the entire time. I don't know if it's available for Kindle or the iPad, but it would definitly be a good book for that format.

Now for the content. Mr. Johnstone takes you on a journey through the art of meditation. He does this in a non-threatening way. So regardless of your religious or thought-clearing methods you won't feel uncomfortable. The author gets high marks for this. He also speaks to the reader in a way that you can't help but relate to. It's as if Mr. Johnstone knew you before you even read a page.

This book is illustrated beautifully and the words used are an equal companion. I highly recommend this book. It inspired me on multiple levels.

My Best Intentions

Thinking tonight about best intentions, the "my" variety. We don't give people the benefit of this type of doubt. You and I are alike, we give things a shot and sometimes find ourselves not feeling good playing the game at hand. Trick is to not fake it for the poser in us or an audience made up of many characters. If you have to walk away from the court or field you just have to do it. I'm speaking about what you're supposed to be doing on the planet. Best intentions indeed apply here. If you haven't figured it out yet, consider that Shakespeare was right: 

"All the world is a stage..."

In this past week my creative wiring has been at a def level. Cruel as it may seem, I think God has turned my amp up to 10. So I've been asking about my role on this world stage. My outlets for pouring out my creativity have been somewhat limited lately. Makes me thankful for this blog and the second book, and yes I am making some progress with sophomore project. Needless to say, it's a source of much madness for me. 

Before I proceed to my next frame, I need to explain that creativity and art are connected to some level of madness. Manageable in my case, or so my wife would say.

Here are some of my best intentions regarding you:

• I always want to encourage people to pursue their dreams, but to understand that it will most likely hurt deeply. I never want to be the guy who writes something that gives a sense that ease and applause are around the corner. In life there will be blend of all.
• I understand that my writing isn't always moved by marketing. I write from the heart, often what has been laid on my heart. I can't do it any other way. Sometimes that creates a conflict and the heart wins.
• I mention God due to the relationship I have with him. Again, call me a mad man, but we have a relationship. Much like a father and son.
• I try to catch when I screw up and after writing for over 5 years I certainly have. You have an open door to point it out.
• I have strong opinions because I want to be heard. Weak opinions tend to be swallowed up by the herd. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but the goal is always to get you to wrestle with what I've written.
• I am an experiential writer. I am confident you get this.

The Collision of Profit Motive and Meaningful Work

I'm all for profit, wished I had more.  And I'm very into meaningful work. The problem is found in the collision of profit motive and meaningful work.

The problem rears its ugly head when the profit motive starts taking greed steroids.  Meaningful work exits when this happens.  I wish this scenario was rare, but you and I know it's not.  The crazy part is profit and meaningful work can coexist and thrive.

In many ways we live in a tale of two cities.  One city is a place where management (entry to executive) is focused on profit, expenses, quarterly news, and the like.  The other city is a place where the employee is looking and longing for meaningful work.  They're not immature children or idealistic dreamers, just people who understand that life is a limited time offer and they desire to make the most of the time given.  This is the reality and the reason we're in such a mess, relating to how we do and live out our work.

So why are the two at odds?

1. At some point we put a higher value on things (money, possessions, titles) versus people and the lives they lead.  And what is valued most, is what will get the lion-share of attention.
2. Greed and power can be just as addicting as any drug.  The person is overtaken and refuses to give it up.
3. We started telling our children to fit in a box.  See standardized testing as a measure of intelligence, for example.  We've all but poisoned their ability to recognize meaningful work.
4. Wall Street (for those entities in the publically traded realm).
5. The absence of courageous leadership inside the halls of management.

I've always been about people-for better or worse, so I'm not writing to offer solutions on how to fix corporate America.  In the spirit of giving you a place to start, a place to begin discovering where meaningful work may be found, I want you to take a look at the following video clip:

 

 

 

The End of Trust

Who do you trust? What do you trust? How do you trust? This is a difficult time for trust in America. Seems like just about everyone is pitching an angle or spin. Many have shrugged and found themselves saying hello to their jaded self.

We've arrived at the end of trust.

It's not so strange when you look back over the last 30 years. In my land of America, we made the mistake of thinking trust didn't need attention. We thought it would take care of itself. Like so many other things in life, trust doesn't just take care of itself. It requires priority and work.

I'll never forget a mentor asking once if I could be trusted with the gifts and talents I'd been given. It cut right through me because I knew he was referring to my ability to understand the meaning of given and my responsibility to live out the trust I ask for from people. That question has been part of my psyche ever since. A gut check for me.

Can you be trusted?

The conclusion is found in the wieght we assign to trust. If it's like a feather, then I hope you'll always be protected because you're going to need it. If it's heavy, I since you'll treat it with great care and respect wherever you give or ask for it.

Trust is a verb like no other in a world that's lost, not found.

What Do You Fear?

If you're like me, my fears are ever present. This is not a confession that I live in daily fear, just a confession that, like you, I do battle with them. Part of the human condition I suppose. I wish more people would be willing to do battle in this area. Fears are so paralyzing.

The trick or method is not giving into our fears. Easy for me to write, eh?

Well, consider this reality from my life. I had a nightmare a few months ago where I was at the end of my life. I knew I was at the end because someone was with me in a waiting room representing God. He told me he was sad to tell me that I had missed my destiny. I began to cry.

Fast-forward and I wake from the dream, or nightmare in my mind, and in that early morning I feel panic. I start to wonder if I'm on the wrong track, I start to question what I've accomplished, I start to think I'm running out of time.

Fears.

Those fears still come to visit me from time to time. But when I remember the following, I don't give in:

• I have done more in my life than my background would suggest I would.
• I have been blessed to touch people with the written word (book and otherwise).
• I have been asked to tell my story for the benefit of others.

I write all this, not as a feel-good-about-myself moment, but to illustrate truth. Truth that I can verify and truth that is a weapon against a fear that is false. But like you, I have to stop, breathe and remind myself of, again, what is true.

Reminding one-self of the truth is a good thing.

Thoughts on The Synergist by Les McKeown

Very excited to share some thoughts on a new book titled, The Synergist: How to Lead Your Team to Predictable Success by Les McKeown. I must say the book is a must for anyone involved or interested in organizational development and teamwork. Mr. McKeown articulates a reliable way for groups to form and perform as a team. As someone who thinks the word team is as worn out as the word leadership, it's refreshing to read a thought leader who truly understands what the word means in the real world.

I am biased in my fondness for this book because he described me, personally, in one of the chapters. It was rather haunting, but in a good way.

Mr. McKeown has a vast background in working the land of organizational development. He applies this in a way that is understandable and relevant, regardless of your position/role. 

Here are some key take-aways I gained from the book:

• Effective teams are made up of 4 different types (the visionary, the operator, the processor, and the synergist) of people.
• Every group and team comes to the table with a natural bent. The bent is neither good or bad, it's the human being being who they are.
• Evey organization is aligned for the outcomes it experiences.
• There is a life cycle for every team and organization. I found it interesting how choices drive so much of this.
• Many groups find themselves in a ditch due to their inability to see each player as a unique contributor.
• The synergist role (the person who brings clarity in an unbiased manner) is a sort of lynch-pin in every high performing team. You'll understand more when you read the book.
• Mr. McKeown uses real-world examples to drive his premise. 

This post is not long enough to give you all that the book delivers. But the book really is like guidebook. You owe it to yourself to check it out.